Out with the Old

Posted on January 4, 2011


With the advent of a new year, many people have made their resolutions and are focused on what they’d like to create for 2011. Perhaps your list of resolutions is focused on the new as well: new things you’d like to do, a new body you’d like to tone up or slim down, a new romantic relationship you’d like to attract.

Setting goals for the new we’d like to bring into our lives is an important step in making things happen. But it is not the first step we should take.

Before we can bring in the new, we’ve gotta get rid of the old.

If you want a healthy, romantic relationship, you’ve gotta stop dating jerks. If you want to meet someone you connect with on a deep level, you’ve gotta stop settling for superficial conversations. If you really want to change your love life, you can’t keep doing the same things you’ve always done and expect to get different results (remember Einstein’s definition of insanity?)

So before you go all wild and crazy with a bunch of new resolutions, just step back a minute and reflect. What did you do in 201o that prevented you from having a great relationship?

Did you obsess about an ex? Cling to a fantasy relationship? Work too many hours and socialize too little? Not put yourself out there for fear of being rejected? Stay in a dead-end relationship so that you wouldn’t be lonely? Did you purposely excuse someone’s inappropriate behavior or ignore their red flags? Did you turn down some great potential dates because of your own issues? Did you reject someone before you really got to know him/her? Did you not sign up for coaching sessions that would help you get clear?

Go ahead and be brutally honest with yourself and answer this question: What did you do that sabotaged your chances of success in love in 2010?

Write these down. Make a list of what you did that prevented you from being successful in the romantic department. This is your old. This is your past. These are the down and dirty things you don’t want to do any more.

This is the stuff you’ve got to get rid of before you can start to bring in the new.

Before you go and make your list of New Year’s Resolutions, first make sure you get rid of the stuff that doesn’t serve your best interests. Clean out those cobwebs, dissolve those negative thoughts, change your dysfunctional habits and behaviors. It’s a new year. Let’s make it the one where you get what your heart deserves.

Posted in: New Beginnings