The Art of Self-Care

Posted on February 23, 2011

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As I discussed in my earlier posts, February is typically known as the month people celebrate relationships. Many people assume that if they are not in a relationship, they are automatically excluded from anything related to love.

But being single doesn’t mean that you should not be celebrating love.

If you’re not in a romantic relationship, it is imperative that you learn the art of self-love and self-care. It is essential that you  learn how to treat yourself well. Learning self-love and self-care is an art and it will be the mastery of this art that will enable you to choose quality partners who will treat you as well as you treat yourself.

If you want to attract more love into your life, you first must be willing to give it generously to yourself.  When I tell clients this however, I often hear protests regarding lack of time or money. Self-care doesn’t require much of either and with a little creativity and forethought, anyone on any budget can learn the art of taking care of one’s self well.

Like any artist, before you begin, you will need to decide upon a day and a time that you will commit to your art.  I know you’ve heard a million times from a ton of people how important it is to schedule a time in your calendar just for you. But how many of you are actually doing this?

Pick a day and a time period that you will not do anything else for anyone else. Pick one hour each week and plan to participate in self-care during this time.

As a wise friend once told me-If you had a weekly doctor’s appointment, you would find a way to get there. You would find someone to watch the kids, someone to take over any obligations or work you had during that time, and you would go.

Treat your hour of weekly self-care just like any other important appointment. It must be perceived as a non-negotiable commitment to yourself in order for you to take it seriously.

Good artists are unique and original with their work. Like any other artist, you will also need to tailor your art to your personal tastes and preferences. You wouldn’t expect a painting by Picasso to look like one from Monet. In the same spirit, your acts of self-care need not look like any one else’s.

Figure out what nurtures your soul, what energizes you, what makes you feel grateful to be alive. Then make that the focus of your weekly hour.

This is your work: Choose one hour each week doing something for yourself that you love.

It’s simple, yes. But it’s also incredibly powerful. It will transform the relationship you have with yourself. And therein lies the secret to creating great partnerships.

Mastering the art of self-care ensures that you will learn to have healthy expectations of others. It means that you will start treating others as well as you treat yourself. And when you learn to love and care deeply for yourself, you will not settle for anyone who does not do the same.

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Posted in: Love 101