The Essential Shift: Why self-worth is at the core of it all

Posted on August 3, 2011


If, in the last post, you guessed that lack of self-worth was at the root of those problems, give yourself a gold star. You were right on.

Self-worth is what I call a ‘core’ issue. A core issue is one that runs so deep that it will cause not only problems in your romantic relationships but in every other area of your life as well.

Just like our friend from the last entry, a lack of high self-worth and self-regard sets you up to give more than you receive, to be grossly taken advantage of in your work and personal life, and to fail in relationships. It is a problem that causes you problems in multiple areas. That’s the bad news.

The good news is that once you tackle a core issue and make a conscious effort to create new patterns and habits of behavior, the benefits and positive results will ripple throughout your entire life.

One of my favorite things to do as a coach is to help clients identify a core issue in the first couple of sessions, and then work out a plan to overcome it. Once a client moves past a core issue, her whole life transforms. And although I’m given a lot of credit for my clients’ successes, the truth is that it is the client’s courage and conscious willingness to change the negative beliefs in the core issue that serves as the catalyst for a personal transformation.

It’s not unusual for someone who is willing to work hard to overcome the core issue of low self-regard to find that once they’re done with sessions, not only have they created some great romantic relationships, but they often meet new friends, change their jobs, undergo some kind of big physical change (like a dramatic haircut or weight loss) and take up some new hobbies as well. It’s one of the reasons I love my job so much. Learning a whole new way of being in relationships changes the whole enchilada.

If you know you struggle with self-worth issues, this month I’d like you to commit to doing something about it. It’s a core issue and I’d bet it’s negatively impacting you in several important areas of your life.

I’d like you to be brave enough to take the Self-Worth Challenge. I’ll discuss the challenge more in my next post, but for now, I’d just like you to commit to doing this challenge. Setting an ambitious goal for the month of August will actually be the first step in learning how to honor what you need and will help set the momentum to get you moving in the right direction.