Challenge #3: Develop Your Relationship Compass

Posted on August 11, 2011


Now that your lists are complete, you may think you’ve got everything you need to get started. But there’s one more challenge you’ll need to take before you have completely mastered developing strong selectivity.

The lists your worked on in Challenge 1 and 2 will help you weed-out people who are not right for you. However, they can’t be your only tool.

The truth is that the brain is not as wise as the body. The brain can help you consciously, rationally and logically observe, judge and analyze. And please don’t get me wrong, here. This is exactly what you need to be doing while you’re dating people. You need to progress to a more conscious and rational way of analyzing partners so that you can make better relationship choices.

But while your conscious brain is gathering intellectual information about another person (to compare them with your criteria), your subconscious brain is picking up on an entire world of information about people that you won’t even be aware of.

Well, until you learn how to access your Relationship Compass, that is.

Almost every client who has been with me for several sessions knows about The Body Compass. It is a coaching tool that is so powerful, I try to teach it within the first 2 or 3 sessions. It is a tool that allows you to independently access the messages that your subconscious continually sends to you about people, situations and places through feelings and sensations in your physical body.

It does take some practice, but once you learn how to identify the messages your body sends you, you will be accessing information from your subconscious mind. You will be able to consciously access information that you weren’t able to access previously. 

The Relationship Compass is one part of the Body Compass tool. In fact, it’s just like the Body Compass tool. Only it’s used specifically to help you gather all of the subconscious information you’re picking up on about future relationship partners. So here comes your next challenge…

Challenge 3: Develop your own Relationship Compass.

In other words, practice using your Body’s Compass to analyze people you are currently dating, people you are considering dating and people you want to date. Several months ago, I completed a step-by-step procedure to help you learn how to use the Body Compass. Here’s all the information you need to get started.

Once you’ve practiced doing this for awhile, and feel like you’ve learned how to access your Body’s Compass, modify this tool and use it to size up your relationships. Use your Relationship Compass simultaneously with your lists to help you figure out who to spend your time on and who to let go to the wayside. (Remember-be like Harvard!)

Your lists (a conscious coaching tool) coupled with your Relationship Compass (a subconscious coaching tool) make a powerful alliance that will greatly improve your selection process.