Challenge # 4: The Dating Journal

Posted on August 15, 2011

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If you’ve been keeping up with the challenges in the Self-Worth Challenge thus far, you have done a lot of work.

Already you’ve developed several systems to refine your dating selection process. You’ve learned how to make conscious choices about your non-negotiables and you’ve defined the traits of both “good” and “ideal” partners. You also recently learned how to access the subconscious information that your Relationship Compass is giving you about people. In short, you’ve developed a very powerful set of tools to help you select the best partners.

But this is a lot of information for you to keep stored in your head, especially if you’re dating more than one person. You’re going to need some kind of way to keep track of all of this. How will you possibly remember which person fits which criteria on your lists, your Relationship Compass readings, anything that seems odd, or any potential red flags you notice?

Even if you have a fantastic memory, making only a mental note of some of these things means you may be tempted to dismiss them without gathering more information later. That’s why I’m presenting you with your next challenge-a journal that helps you organize all of the information that you’re gathering on your dates.

Challenge 4: Create and Maintain a Dating Journal

I provide clients who are going through my Love 101 program with a professional Dating Journal. Just like you, there’s a lot of information and tools they learn in the program and they need somewhere to organize the information they gather about the people they date. But there’s no reason why you can’t just develop one of your own in a regular notebook.

I would advise you to at least have the following in your dating journal (although you can add anything additional that you think would be helpful):

1. Have at least two sections in your journal. In one section, you should store your lists, (your criteria, a list of red flags, and any other dating information that you may need to access to). In another section, you should record information about your dates.

2. On the pages where you are recording information about your dates, be sure to include:

a) The name of the person

b) Demographic/Biographic info (height, age,  job, hobbies, whether previously married, has kids, etc).

c) Where you went and what you did on your date (Date, time, place and activity)

d) The criteria this person met and did not meet (from your lists)

e) Your Relationship Compass reading (on a scale of -10 to +10)

f) Things that you enjoyed/liked about this person

g) Things you did not enjoy/like about this person

h) Anything that seemed strange, odd or suspicious (including any potential red flags) that you will want to get more information about later

Hopefully soon, I’ll have my Dating Journals for sale on my website so that you can purchase one, even if you’re not in the Love 101 program. Until then, maintain your own version of the Dating Journal. This is a great way to store information and to refer back to it when you need to. 

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