Knowing where you’re going

Posted on March 20, 2012


Not too long ago I was having a conversation with a woman who had attended one of my classes and was interested in coaching. There was A LOT she was unhappy about. She spent most of our conversation telling me about the areas of her life that weren’t working for her.

When I asked her what she wanted to create, however, she didn’t have a clue. All she knew at the time was that she felt stuck and unhappy with what she currently had.

Successful change agents know what they want to create. Unlike the Alice’s of the world who are waiting for someone else to tell them what to create, SCA’s have an idea of where they’d like to go. Successful women have a defined life path. The goals they are working towards are in alignment with their life path.  They are, as they say, living life on purpose. 

Sometimes you think you don’t know what you want to create, like the client I mentioned above. But knowing what you don’t want is actually a good starting point to defining what you do.

If all you know is that you don’t want to be dating another jerk,  that’s a good place to define the relationship you’d like to create next. What was it about this guy that made him not-so-great to be dating? What things did he do that upset you? What personality traits were less than desirable? Once you start examining this, you’ll be better able to figure out what you do want.

Same with your career. I was talking with a woman a few weeks ago who told me that she was tired of working so hard and such long hours only to be paid so little. She worked almost every weekend and could barely pay her bills. Her ideal career then, would probably be one where she had most of her evenings and weekends free and made a salary that allowed her to live comfortably (if not abundantly). 

If you want to be a successful woman, you need to be knowing where you’re going. Otherwise, you’re going to end up living your life and spending your time on a path that others choose for you.

The next time you catch yourself complaining about something in your life, use that energy instead to brainstorm what you’d like to create. And then, like an SCA, get started.