Five Lessons Learned Too Late

Posted on September 6, 2012


In the October 2012 issue of Psychology Today, Elizabeth Svodoba researched the five lessons most people learn too late. Here they are, so that you can learn them now.

1. Practice Radical Acceptance. You can’t really change anyone else. It’s much more effective to focus on changing yourself.

2. It’s harmful to overparent. If you have to choose between being a helicopter mom and underparenting, the latter proves better for children.

3. Opposites don’t attract forever. Personal values trumps everything else in determining relationship happiness and longevity. But you don’t want to be exactly the same. Differences keep the sparks going.

4. Social networks matter. Hundreds of studies prove that the quality and quantity of your social relationships determine your happiness and health. In fact, a new study proves that “low levels of social interaction have the same effects as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.”

5. Lust diminishes but love remains. When that I-must-take-your-clothes-off-now! feeling fades a bit {usually after 1.5 years of being together}, it actually sets the tone for a deeper, more committed kind of love. There should still be sparks, however (see #2)

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