On settling

Posted on November 23, 2012

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There’s a difference between accepting what someone can give you, accepting who he is and settling for him. 

Living in reality means that you learn to be real with your expectations. Don’t expect a fruit tree to grow potatoes, don’t expect a bird to start barking like a dog and don’t expect a jerk to suddenly become your prince charming. When you get to a point where you accept that a fruit tree grows fruit, a bird sings and a jerk is going to act like a jerk, you are in reality.  You have accepted what someone can give you and you have accepted who he is. 

Settling is different.  

Settling is when you want something different but you convince yourself that what you have is, in fact, good enough. If you want potatoes, don’t buy the fruit tree and then go-oh well, fruit’s not so bad. Just be honest with yourself. You wanted some damn potatoes!

If you want a dog, tail wagging and barking and all, settling is saying-Maybe I should just be grateful I even have a pet. A bird’s not a terrible pet. When you do this, you’re denying your real needs: to have a dog. 

You get the point, right? Don’t get involved with a jerk and try to comfort yourself by saying-Well, at least it’s better than being single.

That’s settling. That’s not happiness. 

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