Resolve

Posted on January 1, 2013

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High Ambitions

A *new* year. A clean slate. And perhaps a list of things you’ve resolved to do. Or not do.

Maybe you’ve decided to give up smoking, stop eating chocolate, lose ten pounds. Who knows? Perhaps you’re on a treadmill right now, power walking furiously and logging your breakfast onto MyFitnessPal.

Or maybe you haven’t made any resolutions at all for the new year because you know you’re never going to do them anyway, so what’s the point?

It doesn’t  matter, really, which side of the fence you’re on. Because quite frankly, there’s only one resolution that counts.

Until you’ve resolved to clean up the narrative that’s constantly chattering away inside your head, the narrative about what you *should* be doing, you’re fucked. Completely fucked and utterly doomed to fail, or at the most, to experience only fleeting, superficial success.

That’s the truth.

Because until you learn how to stop all of the noise inside your noggin, you’re not going to be able to accomplish anything you’ve set out to do. If you’ve got a list of ambitious New Year’s Resolutions, I’d advise you to listen closely. If you’ve given up on the whole goal-setting thing because you’re tired of being disappointed by your lack of motivation and follow-thru, I’d advise you to listen closely as well. Because both of these are really just different sides of the same coin-a misguided attempt at avoiding failure. 

You won’t be successful with anything until you’ve laid a solid foundation of listening to your damn self. 

That’s right, you heard what I said. You have to start listening.to.yourself. You have to start hearing all of those messages that your body and your subconscious and that soft, quiet voice inside of you has been trying to tell you all along. Then-and only then-will you have a clear idea of where you need to be going and what you should be doing. 

This blog is NOT designed to be an instructional manual for your life. (It never could be. There are over 7 billion lives on this planet, all with different purposes and needs and dreams.) Your life is your life and only you really know what’s best for you.

This blog is designed to be  is a reminder of how to quiet all of the voices and opinions and advice that you keep seeking out from your friends and families and those godawful self-help books. Shut it all up already so that you can start hearing what you need to do, what you love and what you want to make happen. (And yes, I recognize the ironic paradox here. This blog arguably, too, could be just another voice in the sea of voices telling you how to live your life. But I’m not here to persuade you to accept my truth so much as I am to help you listen to yours).  

The real question then is not what are your resolutions, but how strong is your resolve? How dedicated are you willing to be to yourself? How much courage are you willing to show in the  inevitable, awful moments of self-doubt? How much A.S.S*are you willing to kick for the sake of your own sense of freedom and happiness?

You won’t be successful if you’re not on board with your own goals. That sounds ridiculously obvious, I know, but the amount of women who insist of living their lives trying to gain the approval of others is staggering. And sad. Trust me on this one-you’ll be devastated in the last few moments of your life when you realize that you lived like a coward; that you made many of your decisions out of fear of what others would think and say about you.

I’ve had enough of it. Have you?

Right here, right now, on January 1st, 2013, make a real resolution. Resolve to start being true to yourself. Resolve to live your own life. And if you’ve spent so much time trying to make others happy that you don’t even know where to start, resolve to at least give this blog a look every few weeks for some ideas on how to. 

So, here’s how you start. Take a look at your list of resolutions. And if you haven’t made any yet, get out a pen and paper. 

Now, be utterly and completely honest with yourself. What do you *really* want to do this year? Travel somewhere you’ve never been? Enroll in a salsa class? Try something you’ve never tried before? That’s what you need to be putting on your list-the stuff that’s fun and exciting and gives you butterflies in your stomach just thinking about it. 

If you’ve made a typical resolution like “I want to lose x pounds” or “I want to workout y times per week” and these are things that *you* actually do want to do, make a resolution that lets you accomplish these goals and have a blast at the same time. 

Enough with the stodgy goals of things you think you *should* be doing or accomplishing. It’s time to take back your own life, damnit. If you’re going to make resolutions, make them about doing things that energize and excite you.  

*A.S.S. stands for Approval-Seeking Syndrome. And we’re all about kicking A.S.S. around here. Got it? 

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Posted in: Your Wise Self