It’s your life. Own it.

Posted on March 25, 2013



The other day I was walking through Target when I saw their huge collection of new, tiny, barely there bikinis with a sign above them that read ‘Sale!’

“Ugh,” I thought to myself, “Swimsuit season has arrived. I’m going to have to figure out a way to get into a bikini.”

A few weeks ago I received an invitation to a child’s birthday party from this mom who has been quite snarky to me on several occasions. “Ugh,” I thought as I opened the envelope. “I’m going to have to figure out a way to go with my son and pretend I’m enjoying myself.”

Then, last week, I was offered a consulting position with an educational company meaning that, in addition to my coaching sessions with clients, I would be working a great deal. “Ugh, I thought, “I’m going to have to work all summer.” 

And then I stopped myself. 

Because I know better. Because I don’t have to do any of these things, actually. I know that everything is a choice and my choices reflect my personal integrity. This is my life and I need to own it. 

I can go to the pool in whatever kind of swimsuit I’d like to wear, I can decline invitations I’d rather not accept and I don’t have to accept jobs just because they’re offered. Any thought that begins with “I have to” takes away my personal power. Any thought that begins with “Ugh, I’m going to have to” is even worse.  

How many of us, I wonder, forget that we always have choices? How many of us are sacrificing our personal integrity because we are afraid to be true to ourselves? How many of us have yet to learn how to own our own lives?

The reason I devoted this month to asking you to question the ‘voices inside of your head’ was because so many of us are conditioned to believe that we have to be something we’re not in order to be accepted by others. So many of us have allowed the negative beliefs and perceptions of other people to determine how we think and perceive our own selves and our lives. 

As a fellow Martha Beck coach often says-Go out and fly your freak flag.  If there’s a way for me to quickly sum up all the posts of this months it would be this: Be yourself. Live your own life. Surround yourself with people who love who you really are and will remind you of your own worth when you begin to doubt it. 

Sure, people will talk about you if you do your own thing. They’ll talk about you if you don’t, too. Leave the snarky haters to their own miserable lives. You’re got too much going for you to waste your energy on them, anyway.

There’s a pole somewhere just dying to fly your flag. Go find it, proudly fly it and own it completely.