Browsing All posts tagged under »bad relationships«

#15: Badmouth others to you

July 31, 2013


My nona, who immigrated to the United States from Italy, was a big fan of daytime talk shows, usually of the most dramatic variety. While watching Jerry Springer (which has a soft spot for consistently displaying tales of infidelity), she would advise the women on the show in her thick, Italian accent: “The man who […]

#14: Draining

July 29, 2013


Ever been in a conversation with someone only to feel, once you got back home, that you had been completely drained? Devoid of energy? Like the other person just sucked the very life force out of you?  I know I have. When  I walk away from these interactions I feel like I need a nap. […]

#13: Self-Centered

July 27, 2013


It’s not difficult to ascertain whether someone else is self-centered.  You will notice this almost from the very beginning of the relationship.  If you share a difficulty in your life with them, they will turn the conversation directly back to themselves. Not just once, but over and over again. They will meet up with you, […]

#11: Delusions of Grandeur

July 22, 2013


Several years ago, some friends of mine threw an “American Idol” party. I’ve never really been into television and so I just went because, well, hey, it’s a party, right? And having never seen American Idol before, there were two things that really surprised me when I first saw it. The first one was how […]

#7: Conflict, chaos and negative drama & #8: Triangulation

July 12, 2013


If you want to live a happy and harmonious life, then you’re going to want to be very selective about the people whom you allow into your inner circle. That’s what this whole series is about this summer, isn’t it? Because choosing your relationships wisely, surrounding yourself with the best people, ensures a solid support […]

#6: Hurt on Purpose

July 10, 2013


There are some people in the world who feel the need to say and do hurtful things on purpose. Regardless of what you say to them about their words and actions, some people decide that they are stuck on being mean. Now all of us, at some point or another, have said or done something […]

#2: Contempt

June 28, 2013


John Gottman, therapist, psychology professor and founder of The Relationship Research Institute, is most well-known for his accurate predictions of marriage success or failure. In his popular and well-cited research, he uses four criteria in which to examine his newlywed subjects. If couples demonstrate these four ‘negative behaviors’ towards each other at the beginning of […]

Bad Relationship Series: The list

June 18, 2013


When I analyze the bad relationships I’ve had in the past, a few things tend to continuously pop up. Although each bad relationship I’ve participated in has its own unique destructive tendencies, there are some common denominators between them. Certain characteristics and personality traits seem to yield themselves to bad relationships.  And not just in […]

The Bad Relationship Series: Kicking A.S.S. and Listening In

June 12, 2013


If almost every bad relationship is preventable, then what’s preventing you from picking up on the warning signs before you get invested?  In most of my sessions with clients, when we shift into a perception of power and analyze personal weaknesses, a common theme appears. People know, from the very beginning of most relationships, whether […]

The Bad Relationship Series: How do the creeps creep in?

June 7, 2013


Every bad relationship has a beginning. Before you spent your weekends with the duplicitous friend, before you got cheated on by the lying scumbag, before you confided in the shady colleague, there was an introduction of some kind, an exchange of information, a conversation. There was some kind of beginning. When you learn to be […]